I'm Resigning From Adulthood

I'm sure that everyone will know what I'm talking about when I say that Tom and I are experiencing growing pains. That sounds bad, so let me clarify. Tom and I are not physically experiencing growing pains, and things between us continue to get more magical every day. We're fine. But I mean growing up, becoming adults, making big decisions...it hurts!

The other day as we were at my sister's house, we looked at Tom's graduation plan, and found out that we will be in Rexburg for quite a bit longer than we had anticipated. Not that that's the worst thing in the world, but to us it's not the best thing either. Then we looked at grad schools and BOY HOWDY. Talk about pricy. And far away. And so many choices. How the heck are we supposed to decide? We would be out-of-state tuition payers for pretty much all the school's we're looking at, and we'd like to move there and gain residency by working and living in whatever state we decide on before we start school, but that could be a long time. That could be really slim pickings financially speaking since we don't want to completely bury ourselves in debt with student loans.

Through all of this, I'm just kicking myself for not pursuing a more specified degree, one that I could get a really nice job with. But I didn't really feel good about anything I tried before. Was it just me being lazy? Should I change my major AGAIN since we'll be there in Rexburg long enough for me to do a different degree anyway? Or should I just finish my University Studies degree, then get certified as an RD (Registered Dietitian, super cool!) and work? What if we have kids by then? How will we balance all of that?

There are a thousand, no, an innumerable amount of questions we could ask and would like to know. For a few days as we researched, the future looked exciting! Now that I'm looking at details, it just looks scary. Why didn't anyone tell me it would be like this? I take that back, you all definitely did tell me this. Why didn't I listen?

Despite all my fears, I can't deny what I know: everything will be okay. We will be guided to the right place. We'll be able to make it through undergrad school, and we will be okay financially as long as we pay our tithing, and give our all to the Lord. I know that. And I'm so grateful for that, to know that He will carry us, whether we have a lot of money, no money, 3 kids or none, a nice home or our tiny apartment. God is no respecter of persons - He loves us all equally, and as Tom and I live the way we know to be right, He will provide for us just as much as anyone else. I know that, and I have to trust that.

"The future is as bright as your faith"

- Thomas S. Monson