Shoulda Coulda Woulda

I should be cleaning up the house, doing dishes, doing homework, doing laundry, doing something. But there are thoughts weighing heavily on my mind and I wanted to just blurb them out, take them for what you will or won't. Comment or don't.

The values of the world are getting lost. While people have always had differing opinions, it seems that we have lost the art of respect and gratitude, and we scream awful terrible things over the internet with no tact. Satan has great hold upon the hearts of the world.

I wish I could say I'm exempt, but I'm not. I judge, I criticize, I am rude and unkind. But I know that my efforts are valued in God's sight. I try to be obedient, I try to love, I try to be kind and say nice things, to control the natural woman in me that is oh so far from God.

I get scared that things are getting worse. Gray is no longer gray, but is becoming more distinctively divided into black and white. I get scared that people seem to be looking for a rule to defy, a principle to challenge, a lifestyle to break away from. I get scared that people don't have a desire to be good. And more than scared I just get so very sad.

An inspiring video that was made with the voice over of BYU-Idaho's President Kim B. Clark compares the battle with pornography to a real battle field, and how if you knew someone was wounded physically on the battle field, you would want to help them. Likewise, those with spiritual injuries need saving too. And often it takes another soldier to help them to safety and care. The video is more profound each time I watch it.

And do you want to know how people reacted to the movie? They hated it. Instead of letting the message touch their hearts and inspire them with courage to change or be the change for someone else, they started sharing feelings and comments that exactly replicated what Pres. Clark said Satan would tell them. Oh, the irony. "Don't get involved". "Everyone does it". "Don't be a tattle tale" "It's not your problem".

I feel so sad when I see people bashing on my school president, and the Honor Code we have here that I love so dearly and do my best to follow. I want to scream sometimes "JUST LEAVE". If you don't like it, then GO. Leave this campus. But then I realize that the problem is not that they're here, that they're spoiling the spirit of Ricks, let alone offending the spirit of God. The problem is that they don't understand.

I can empathize, I didn't always understand myself. And it took a great many people dragging me off the spiritual battle field to help. I think we've all been there to some extent or another, haven't we? I hope so.

But now that I know, I really know. And I wish everyone knew. I wish I could tell them, or show them, or somehow teach them. But if they were anything like I was, they don't want to know. It's hard to know, because then you can't look back or go back without immense guilt.

I know that everyone is going through a battle, that none of is exempt from trials and weaknesses. I know that Christ atoned for those sins and mistakes we make because of those trials and weaknesses. I know what it's like to be freed from that burden when we allow Him to take it from us. I know that the process is not easy, that it takes a lot of time. But I know it can be done. I know that the Honor Code is an inspired way to live your life, and that obedience to the Honor Code will bring you happiness. Not fake happiness, but real and lasting joy. I know that God intends for us to be like Him, and that can't happen until we know Him and have a desire to be with and like Him. I know He loves us, and I love Him.