Mon Petit Frere

My little brother Tim is serving his mission in Lyon, France right now. Monday is P-day (which stands for preparation day, where missionaries get to grocery shop, do laundry, and most importantly WRITE HOME in preparation for the coming week), so this morning when the alarm went off the first thing I did was check my email. Sure enough, another great message from Elder Andersen.

I've been thinking about my little brother a lot lately, and how lucky I am to have him as a little brother.

Tim and I have always been really close. Maybe it's because we were in the 'younger kids' club, maybe it's because when I was 4 and he was 2 we got the chicken pox together. Who knows? Whatever it is, Tim has always always always been there for me.

He's gotten me through a lot of hard times, and has always been there to encourage and support me in whatever it is I'm doing with my life. So when my heart was ready and I found the man better than my dreams, it was only a sealed deal after Tim met Tom.

I remember it very well. Tom and I had just driven to Spring City from the Holli Krishna festival in American Fork, so we were covered in colored dust. We must have looked quite a fright. But Tim was the first one to grab not just me but Tom in a big ol' hug. It made my heart swell to see my two favorite boys meeting for the first time in person.

The next day they went on a run together. Both of those boys love to run...good for them ;) Later that day, Tim pulled me aside and said "You need to marry Tom". So I did :)

Tim is a good man. In one word, that's what I would call him: good. And I mean that in the purest sense of the word. He is honest, he works hard, he is humble, and he does everything to the best of his ability. I have been so blessed by his example and his life. It makes me so happy to see him on a mission, doing what he has been preparing for his whole life, and in a place that is so dear to our family! (Tim was born in France while my family lived there)

I am so proud of you, mon petit frere. Tu me manque beaucoup, et je t'aime.

Perspective

I intended to blog today about our Temple to Temple relay yesterday. Then I wanted to blog about the State Fair we went to way back when we were still in Utah. Then after a few great discussions and short videos and other articles, I wanted to rant about cell phones, about milk, about the terrorists, about government, about exercise, about silly women, about the wonderful Relief Society broadcast last night, and a lot of other things.

But you know what? I don't think it's worth it to vent on the public internet.

What it comes down to is that we knew that things would get 'sticky' in the last days. I probably knew that way more in the pre-existence than I understand it now, because I really don't get it. And yet, I still made the choice to come down to this earth life and follow the teachings of my Savior Jesus Christ.

What it comes down to is that Tom and I will continue to follow the prophet and do what the Lord directs us to do. The rest of it...it's not going to matter. One day all of this will be gone. What a wonderful thing!

What it comes down to is that life, when it comes down to it, is simple. I love Tom. That's pretty simple. Because of our commitment to each other and to our Heavenly Father, we will live the best way we know how. If I can keep this perspective, I think that I'll be a little less shocked when we get to heaven and there is no dispute and contention over what type of milk to use, no confusion over what our eternal roles as women and men are, and no wicked people to terrorize the world.

That will be a pretty glorious day, and I want to feel comfortable there. Maybe remembering that perspective now will help.

Life Lately

I never really feel like we have anything largely significant to post, but I love it when others post and I can just hear what's going on, no matter how boring it is! So I decided to do the same thing for us.

House improvements are pretty much done! We only have one nasty little set of blinds to put up. After one minor setback that I'll blog about later, I feel like we're pretty settled. Of course time will help us really break in this place, but we love it. It's home.
Its amazing what some paint and new blinds can do for a home. And for the spirit of our home! Cleanliness really is next to godliness, we've learned.
Here's a picture of our picture collage! We need to fill that bottom right blank space, and replace a couple pictures, but I really love having our wedding pictures up :)

Tom has been working really hard in school. We're trying to get our schedule down, and we're discovering that usually we get to eat lunch together, which is so nice, and that dinner together is at 7 pm at the earliest. Usually around 8 or 9, realistically. I have work early in the mornings, so I'm pooped by the time dinner rolls around. Recently, it's been a really good day if we can get in bed and read scriptures together. But we love being busy! It makes us feel good and productive.

I'm desperately looking for a second job. I'll take toilet cleaning, if it was available. I've put in so many applications I have all my previous work experience information memorized. Pretty much. Prayers that I can find something would be SO appreciated. Then again, if I'm not supposed to have a second job, we will be okay.

Tonight Tom is taking a test, and I have swimming try outs! I'm not sure if it's a good idea for a lot of reasons...I haven't been on a team in forever, let alone swam competitively. I know some people take it pretty seriously. Okay fine, I only know of one girl who's taking it really seriously, but still. Also, it's getting really cold. I have fond memories of coming out of swim practice with wet hair and it freezing a little bit. But trust me, those memories didn't become fond for a while!

Oh, and it's official, we are Idahoans. I changed my major to reflect what it's been for the past few semesters and I'm coming to grips with being a University Studies major. I know, it's nothing to be ashamed of, getting any degree is awesome! But sometimes I hear about these people getting awesome degrees and I wonder if I'm cheating myself. But I feel good about this, as I always have, so despite my pride, it's happening! I'll be done with formal education in July, if all goes as planned. However, we won't be leaving until maybe 18 months after that.

But we've decided that's okay! We love Idaho, we really do. Even though I cringe a little bit at the thought of a Rexburg baby, I know that life is as good as you make it, or let it be. And we're going to soak it all in.

Basically, our lives are simple but full of joy. I love every second I get to be with my husband. I still struggle to remember my last name when I'm signing papers, I still get really excited when someone says "your husband", and my second favorite part of the day is when he walks through the door. My first favorite part is when I'm leaving for work and he's only half awake and he tells me to have a good day and be safe and bundle up. But that's enough mush. I guess I'm just trying to say that it's all true, what they say about married life. It's all true, the blessings you hear about in the scriptures that come to those who are doing what they should. We can always improve, but I can see how we're prospering in this land and finding true joy as we make Christ the center of our home. Through Him, we can and are doing difficult things that will make us into the people He designed us to be. And it just doesn't get much better than that :)

City Livin

It would be a terrible lie to say that Tom and I are city people.

Because, well, we're just not. He grew up in a small town with no sidewalks, and in all my moving around we usually tended towards suburbia.

So when we were looking for an apartment, and this cute little place fell into our lap, we were just excited to have a place that was cheap and would let us make improvements. Plus the location is killer.

When we went to visit the place, we left talking about the windows. We don't have real windows, you see, but the 3 windows in our house lead to a breezeway. The windows look like old apartment in down town New York windows, and that's not a joke!

But recently when people ask us where we live, we smile and say "downtown". Mostly because everyone would know the whole one street we're talking about if we say that. This may not be Detroit, but I love our home and it's city feel.

It's taken some getting used to, but I love the hum of the light in our kitchen. I don't get bothered (very much) anymore by the conversations we hear and things our neighbors do, because we can hear all. Very powerful of us, no? We love our windows, especially with the new blinds on them. And we even love hearing the occasional siren, because it justifies our belief that we live downtown.

Cause we do.

Fond and Un-fond

Things I'm un-fond of right now:

- I finished painting today. I mean that for reals this time. So now our furniture is pulled away from the walls and it makes everything look that much messier.

- Tom's homework and studying has, by demand, kicked in full force. Goodbye, husband time.

- Every time I go in to do the in store part of my application at Walgreens, the store net is down. Talk about frustrating.

Things I'm fond of right now:

- Despite the mess, I am really loving our dingy little apartment. I know one day we'll look back and miss it, so I'm trying to soak it in while I can.

- My husband is amazing. He works so hard, and does so well at school, and he makes sure that we eat lunch together and get some time during the day to talk and be together. I am SO grateful for that.

- The other day Tom taught me how do use the free weights a little bit. Squats and dead lifts hurt, in case any of you were wondering. But a good kind of hurt...you know? Since running isn't so much of an option these days, I'm enjoying finding other ways to work out hard.

- Yesterday when I was grocery shopping, I thought about how good I had been doing on not spending frivilously. Well, then I bought a bag of coconut so I could make a healthy treat, and I bought a baguette cause it just smelled so good and warm, and I bought a bag of Utah peaches. I don't need a reason for that last one. Good thing they're all yummy and not toooo expensive ;)

- We have plans to play Wallyball tonight, and I think we're all just itching to get back, we haven't played in forever! It should be really fun.

Happy Weekend!

Opportunities

Lately, Tom and I have been talking a lot about the things life throws at you, and what different people do with them. We figure that lots of people struggle with the same things each of us do, but isn't it interesting how we take that same thing and turn it into a whole different life? Different reactions, different opinions...it's all very confusing sometimes.

How are we supposed to know who's right? Is there a black and white to every issue? Or is it all just one big gray blob?

Well today we were having one of those conversations as we sat on the bed, surrounded by our dressers pushed up against the bed so we can paint the walls. Even in that messy room, I felt the spirit as we talked. Still deep in thought, we went to devotional, and heard the words of our school's president and his wife: Kim B. and Sue Clark. The message could not have been more clearly directed to Tom and I. Never in my life have I experienced something like that, where I really thought that they must have tapped wires into our apartment and heard our conversation.

And I came away from it all having learned a lot, but gaining the insight that I, or Tom and I, need to take advantage of as many good opportunities as we can, as we feel guided by the Lord to do. Everyone is different, we all have different plans and ways of learning.

We don't know where we'll be in two years (that is, once we leave Rexburg in two years...), or what we'll be doing. We don't know what our family will look like. We don't know what experiences we will have had, the friends we will have made, or the things we will have learned. Sometimes that scares me.

But I'm always reminded in very quiet ways, sometimes just a moment when I wake up in the middle of the night, or as I'm tiptoeing around the house early in the morning, or as I sit here waiting for Tom to get home: He knows. I don't need to know, because our Heavenly Father does. YOLO doesn't mean do dumb things and try everything! It means, with the gospel perspective, to "lay hold of every good thing". Things that truly uplift and inspire and enrich. And if there are too many of those to handle, pray about which ones to do. But you can't just sit there waiting for the Lord to tell you where to go! He will steer your course as you move. You've got to be moving, acting, stepping into the dark.

What does this mean for us? Well, Tom is changing one of his clusters in school. I'm applying for jobs that I will need to humble myself greatly for. We're learning how to take life one day at a time. I'm applying to be a volunteer swim coach! We're making commitments to each other and to the Lord. We're making and sticking to a budget. Most importantly, we're putting God first in our lives, followed very closely by each other. You can't go wrong when you do it that way - thank goodness!

What are your thoughts on taking opportunities, and handling the temptations, trials, and stresses that life gives to us? I'd love to hear your thoughts and insights!

The Great Return

Last Friday, we woke up early.

Then we hit snooze.

Then I got up and Tom slept for another hour.

We packed up the last few little stray items into the truck we were borrowing from a good friend, said a prayer, and began our journey. 4 hours later, we made it back to our beloved Rexburg!

The place was crawling with new students, their parents, and all 5 of their siblings.

With the help of a very friendly neighbor, we unloaded all of our stuff very quickly. Eventually we removed all of Tom's sister's stuff from the house, and picked up our bed. Home sweet home!

Tom lived in this apartment for half of the semester in the Spring, so we spent time over here, but since we wanted to be obedient, we sat in the hallway together, and every once in a while one of us would trade potty time, etc. Oh it was so nice to finally be in there together - the place we had been dreaming of how to fix up, paint, decorate, it was finally ours!

Well that excitement wore off as we unpacked our boxes and bins and found ourselves in a landfill. Almost literally. There was so much stuff that we couldn't see the floor for 2 days. I'm pretty sure I almost had a meltdown every half hour because where the heck are we going to fit all of these absolutely necessary things? We took necessary breaks to use up some of our wedding money/gift cards, work out, and go to the temple, all of which were very helpful.

But guess what? We did it. You can see the whole floor, and there's only one pile of crap in the corner now. I wish you knew how awesome that is - maybe you'd give me a standing ovation or something.

This weekend was stressful and change is hard but I can't even tell you how nice it is to be here. Together. In our home. Making meals, cleaning, and relaxing together. Oh, and Mrs. Choice is here too, but we're fairly sure that he hates Idaho. That's fine.

I often find myself looking for the pause button. Is this my life? Did I really get him? Are those our photos on the wall? Did they just call us the Cook's? Those sorts of moments get me every time. Married life really is the best. But you know what? I'm not afraid to admit that it's hard too sometimes. Everyone I talk to who's newly married talks about how wonderful it is, and I totally agree! But I have to laugh, because I know that they're all going through their things too. And maybe that's what makes married life so wonderful! That it's so dang hard sometimes (yes, I know this in my glory and wisdom from one month of married-dome.), but you love them so much more every day! No matter how gloomy things look, you have each other. At the end of the day, no matter what happened that morning, you get to kneel and pray together, which seems to just melt away all the extra crap life tars you with. Then you get to go to bed together! Oh my heck, I swear that's never going to get old! I love doing everything and anything with my man.

Basically, life is still life, but it's on a whole new level of awesomeness! I couldn't have imagined anything like this. Somebody pinch me! On second thought, don't.

I'm Resigning From Adulthood

I'm sure that everyone will know what I'm talking about when I say that Tom and I are experiencing growing pains. That sounds bad, so let me clarify. Tom and I are not physically experiencing growing pains, and things between us continue to get more magical every day. We're fine. But I mean growing up, becoming adults, making big decisions...it hurts!

The other day as we were at my sister's house, we looked at Tom's graduation plan, and found out that we will be in Rexburg for quite a bit longer than we had anticipated. Not that that's the worst thing in the world, but to us it's not the best thing either. Then we looked at grad schools and BOY HOWDY. Talk about pricy. And far away. And so many choices. How the heck are we supposed to decide? We would be out-of-state tuition payers for pretty much all the school's we're looking at, and we'd like to move there and gain residency by working and living in whatever state we decide on before we start school, but that could be a long time. That could be really slim pickings financially speaking since we don't want to completely bury ourselves in debt with student loans.

Through all of this, I'm just kicking myself for not pursuing a more specified degree, one that I could get a really nice job with. But I didn't really feel good about anything I tried before. Was it just me being lazy? Should I change my major AGAIN since we'll be there in Rexburg long enough for me to do a different degree anyway? Or should I just finish my University Studies degree, then get certified as an RD (Registered Dietitian, super cool!) and work? What if we have kids by then? How will we balance all of that?

There are a thousand, no, an innumerable amount of questions we could ask and would like to know. For a few days as we researched, the future looked exciting! Now that I'm looking at details, it just looks scary. Why didn't anyone tell me it would be like this? I take that back, you all definitely did tell me this. Why didn't I listen?

Despite all my fears, I can't deny what I know: everything will be okay. We will be guided to the right place. We'll be able to make it through undergrad school, and we will be okay financially as long as we pay our tithing, and give our all to the Lord. I know that. And I'm so grateful for that, to know that He will carry us, whether we have a lot of money, no money, 3 kids or none, a nice home or our tiny apartment. God is no respecter of persons - He loves us all equally, and as Tom and I live the way we know to be right, He will provide for us just as much as anyone else. I know that, and I have to trust that.

"The future is as bright as your faith"

- Thomas S. Monson

Good Friends

This weekend, we went to Provo to spend time with my family. Not only did we hang out with them and have a blast, but we also got to see some other really great people. Unfortunately we didn't have time to see everyone we would have liked to, but I know we'll be back soon and make it happen then. Just too much fun to have in one weekend!

After we left my sister's house, we stopped by an apartment of Tom's really close guy friends, all from his high school. I've gotten to know these boys a little bit over the past few months, but last night just confirmed to me how lucky we are to have such good friends. We stayed there talking for over an hour, and I wouldn't have believed it if you told me cause time just flew by! We were so busy sharing stories about badgers, rampaging buffalo, and injured birds (we talked about other things too, just so you know), that we didn't even think to look at the clock.

I love those kinds of friends. I'm so grateful for the good friends Tom has that are now my friends too - that's another perk to getting married! I hope that our kids have good friends like that. Friends play such a huge part in our lives! I truly believe that they are gifts from God, and I'm so grateful for the good friends in mine and Tom's lives.

(Unfortunately, we are both thoroughly absent minded when it comes to remembering to take pictures. So, this is just a wordy post without any pictures, which is really sad since it may be the last time we see Tom's best friend for a long while! We'll do better next time!)

All things rugged

My husband works for the Tooele Valley Mosquito Abatement District. I had no idea what this meant until I met him, so I explain it by saying he rides around on a 4 wheeler looking for mosquito babies, and then he sprays pesticide and they die. He always comes home covered in dirt and thoroughly coated in the smell of pesticide. And I love it!

The funnest part about his job is when I get to go out with him. I don't spray or do anything because that's super illegal, but I love being in the truck with him as we ride around Tooele valley, and then riding on the 4 wheelers is another favorite part. Now that he works by himself, he gets lonely, so I've been going out with him for a half a day pretty much every day. It's the best!

On Friday, Tom and I went out to the area we sprayed when I first went out to work with him, it was on his birthday. We weren't even engaged yet! Just little kids we were! It was a gorgeous morning, my husband was looking dapper in his gym shorts and knee high rubber boots, and it was so nice to just ride around out there in the sun. It was perfect. And I officially love going to work with Tom.

See what I mean, all that dapper-ness? Irresistible, I tell you.

I think this view is just beautiful!

On the 4 wheeler with my main squeeze :)

It's crazy to me that our time in Lake Point is coming to an end! I am so so so excited to get into our apartment, and start my job again - is it ridiculous that I miss my work? So be it, cause I do. It has been so nice to be here with family, and we are so grateful for the love and help we've received. We are so blessed!

All About Us

Now that this blog is public, people might read this who don't know our story. And I do love this story, so I thought I'd introduce us to you. You're welcome ;)

September 16th, 2012.
It was the first day of church in the new semester. I had just moved in to an apartment of fabulous girls who were immediately my best friends. I was single, and had no interest in getting serious. In fact, I had serious plans to serve a mission for my church. Then this really cute guy walked in all by himself. That makes it SO much easier to get to know them, and find a seat near you. Just a tip for all you single men out there! ;) But, my roommate gave me the look and I knew she was interested. I didn't want to play her game, so I let it go. The cute boy sat with us in Sunday School and Sacrament meeting, and even came over to our apartment later to watch a fireside.
In fact, he came over several times in the next few weeks, and sat with us at church every week. But he wasn't asking out my roommate, or anyone of my roommates...
After General Conference, 3 of my roommates decided to serve missions (due to the wonderful change in age requirement for girls!), and I thought it was great since I was already planning on it too. But something didn't feel right. As I prepared to go, I felt...heavy. Like it wasn't right. I was frustrated, but after weeks of spiritually throwing a tantrum, I gave up and told the Lord that whatever He had in store for me would be great, and I would love it.
Around this time, that cute boy and I started seeing each other every day. We watched a lot of dumb youtube videos and played some really fun games, cooked together, and just had a lot of fun no matter what we were doing! I realized that I really liked this boy. His name is Tom, Tommy Ray. And in fact, I liked him very much.


October 19th, 2012
After what seemed like an ETERNITY, he finally asked me out! We planned a double date with his best friend Ian, who we set up with my awesome cousin Claire! The date? The Haunted Mill. I am TERRIFIED of all things haunted or potentially haunt-able. I'm a whoosie, basically. But I braved the mill, all in the name of love ;) Tom wouldn't hold my hand or anything, which was annoying but surprisingly attractive. Maybe it was because I accidentally elbowed him in the nose. We'll just let that one go.
We continued to see each other every day, and go on unofficial dates, and official ones too. I was falling fast for this kind and strong man that I saw so much good in. We had such great conversations, and we were always laughing when we were together. It was an amazing time, but also frustrating because I wanted more! I could feel how right it was, or at least I told myself that. I couldn't help myself, he's got charisma (name that movie!)

January 2, 2013
I spent Christmas at home in Texas with my family, and it was a hard time for us. We weren't officially dating, and it was just kind of an awkward limbo phase. When I got back to Utah, I spent New Year's with his family and fell in love with all of them. I almost cried when I got on the shuttle to take me back to Rexburg, because Tom wouldn't be coming back until the Spring. I had no idea what would happen. When I got home, we were on the phone, and somehow started talking about our relationship and what we were. It was very simple when we decided "it looks like a duck, it quacks like a duck..."...and thus we became boyfriend and girlfriend. Officially.
We spent the next semester long distance dating, Face Timing as often as possible, having long distance movie nights, and visiting whenever we could.

January 26, 2013
On a weekend visit, Tom finally held my hand. Yes, I floated away. I hadn't ever had to wait so long for something so good, and it just proved to me that even if waiting for things to develop was hard, Tom was worth it!

February 10, 2013
I was down in Utah for a weekend visit, and as Tom drove me back to the airport to be picked up by my ride, we talked about us. I'll leave out the gushy stuff and cut to the chase - he dropped the L bomb. As if things couldn't get better, when we were pulling away from one of a thousand goodbye hugs, he kissed me! I think it surprised him as much as it surprised me. It was the most perfect little awkward first kiss in the history of the world, and if I thought I knew Cloud 9 before, I discovered Cloud 11 in that moment.
Tom came up to surprise me for my 21st birthday, which made me SO stinkin' happy. That was the only present I wanted, and how blessed am I, I got it!

March 30, 2013
I came down to Utah, and we went to the Holli Krishna festival. Then Tom met my parents, and more of my siblings. They all loved him, so that sealed the deal for me! We dropped Tim off at the MTC on April 3rd, celebrated Tom's birthday on April 4th, attended General Conference on the 5th and 6th, and I reluctantly went back to Rexburg that night.

April 10, 2013
We leave for our first road trip alone together, and headed to Oakland/San Francisco, CA. Time in the car is a make or break kind of activity, and it was a good thing for us!

April 12, 2013
On the terrace of the Oakland temple, my best friend read 99 things he loves about me, then asked me to read #100. At the end of his sweet message, I read "With that said, I have one question to ask you...", and then he was down on one knee, asking me to be his forever.
The rest of the day was one of the most glorious days I've ever had. We did baptisms in the Oakland temple, then called our family, then ran around San Francisco holding hands and kissing and not even caring where we went or what we did.

We returned to Rexburg, completed a wonderful Spring semester that was full of ups and downs. We took engagements, made all kinds of wedding plans, probably spent more weekends in Utah than we did in our own town, found an apartment, saw all kinds of miracles.

When the semester ended I went to Texas for a while to be at home. After a few days apart, Tom joined me. I went through the Houston Temple on August 3rd, 2013, which was another day I hope to never forget. Tom enjoyed his first trip to Texas, all except for the humidity ;)

Then on August 14th, 2013....well, you get it.

And that is how we became us.

Throwback Thursday

Maybe #tbt is just for Instagram. But I can't help but thinking about last night as we were getting up from dinner and my husband grabs my hand and says, in his most cheesy dramatic voice, "Everyone, I have an announcement to make." I had no idea what he was about to say, and trying to prepare myself for something big. "3 weeks ago today, I took my beautiful sweetheart to the temple and married her."

I couldn't hear what else he was saying because I was too busy laughing. We like to be stupidly dramatic about mooshy things, like week anniversaries and stuff. 

And even though it was a joke, I melted a little bit. 

Thinking about our wedding day does that to me.

So here's to Throwback Thursday, to 3 weeks and 1 day ago when I was sealed to my favorite person on the planet, in the most beautiful place. To when I cried my eyes out because of all the love I felt in that room. To when I became a Cook. To when I graduated from single life to Cooking for Two. To when I felt so grateful to God for blessing me with so much that I thought I would fly into Heaven!

There really is no way to describe those feelings. But I sure like trying, even if it does sound ridiculous and cheesy.

And this is our blog! I've always had my own blog, but I think that married status gives you license to a new blog. It won't be anything marvelous or fantastic, and I can't even promise consistent posting. This is just a way for you to keep up with us, if you feel so inclined.

So, welcome to the Cook life!